Supporting Someone After Trauma
When someone you love has been through something frightening, it is hard to know what helps. Here is practical guidance for family and friends.
01
What you might be noticing
Someone close to you may seem quieter, quicker to anger, or always on alert. They might avoid driving, skip gatherings they used to enjoy, sleep badly, or say they do not feel like themselves anymore. You may feel shut out, worried, or unsure whether to bring it up. These changes can be part of how a person responds after something frightening. They are not a verdict on your relationship, and they are not something you are expected to solve alone.
02
Presence before advice
Most people do not need a plan from you right away. They need to feel that you are not going anywhere. Short, steady offers often land better than big conversations: a walk, a ride to an appointment, sitting together without the television on. You can say, "I have noticed things have been hard. I am here if you want to talk, and it is fine if you do not." Then let that stand. Pushing for details can feel like pressure, even when it comes from love.
03
Practical help that tends to matter
Trauma can make ordinary tasks feel heavy. Concrete help is often the most useful kind: handling a phone call, picking up groceries, keeping a calendar of medical or legal appointments, or helping find information about therapy. Ask before acting, so the person keeps a sense of choice. If they are recovering from an accident or injury, ask what feels hard rather than guessing. Small, reliable help can rebuild a sense of safety more than one dramatic gesture.
04
Talking about therapy without pushing
If you think therapy could help, share the idea once, gently, and leave the decision with them. You might say, "Would it help if I found a few options?" You can share this site, mention that our practice offers a free 15-minute consultation, and explain that a request is not a commitment. An adult needs to reach out for their own care. For teens 14 and up, a parent or guardian is usually involved in getting started.
05
Taking care of yourself too
Supporting someone through a hard season can wear you down. You may feel helpless, frustrated, or sad in ways you do not say out loud. Those reactions make sense. Keep some time that is just yours, stay connected to your own people, and consider whether you would benefit from support for yourself. If you ever believe someone is in immediate danger, call 911. For a mental health crisis, you can call or text 988 at any time.
Questions
Before You Begin
Can I contact the practice on someone else's behalf?
You can ask general questions. For an adult, the person who would attend therapy usually needs to make the request and consent to care themselves.
Can I join their sessions?
That depends on the person and their therapist. It is something they can raise in their own care.
What should I avoid saying?
Try to avoid timelines like "you should be over this by now" and comparisons to other people. Listening usually helps more than reassuring.
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